How we experience the night: "Audiobook of sexualized violence".

Audio book of sexualized violence

Anonymous excerpts collected by the band Blond

CN new: Sexual violence/assault, sexualization, street (sexual) harassment, alcohol.

1. with our circle of friends it is already so that we dance always times quite far in front in the club. And then you do not hold back. _{And there I was once really blatant grabbed on the ass and in the crotch. So really really unpleasant. I stopped immediately and looked behind me. Really shocked and then a friend stood next to me and said "Hey don't worry, he's gay" and then I was like "Ah, ok". And then I was like "Hey wait a minute, that doesn't matter at all, that was still an invasion of my privacy and above all a touching of my body to which I didn't agree and which in my eyes is much too intimate for a person I've simply never seen in my life. And sexual orientation doesn't matter at all." I have the feeling that it is completely normal to touch a woman's body just like that.} And that in many moments it's also seen as a compliment, because he did it according to the motto "Yes Girl" and that I dance really cool and he thought it was cool and so on. But still, you don't have to grab my ass. You can also just say that he celebrates it. And I would have been cool with it. But it's just normalized for some reason to touch women's bodies. Even without consent and I find that so blatantly shocking.

2. he wanted me to drink with him. _{I refused and spat at some point out of spite in the gin shot that was in front of me. Immediately he grabs it and drinks. I don't know what to say.} This is so borderline. But anything I could say would create terrible discussions and I don't want to make this already absurd situation worse. I get up immediately and want to leave. As a farewell he squeezes me too long and I just say: that's enough.

3. I worked at the bar in a club.

The guy who moderated the evening there, came at the end of the party staggered drunk to the bar and began to babble to me. He said "That I was already ne quite pretty". I ignored his pickup line and washed glasses. _{That provoked him or so, no idea. He did not stop with his insinuations. When I blew my nose into a handkerchief, he commented, "You sure can give a good blowjob."}
I was shocked and didn't know what to say, I just wanted to go home quickly. Next to me were at that time only guys in the club, who apologized for his embarrassing behavior and laughed bashfully. When I wanted to go, the guy wanted to hug me goodbye, because it was not meant that way. I went.

4. I wanted to go celebrate with my sister. At the entrance I noticed that I left my vaccination certificate at home, which in itself was no problem because I live very close to this club. Then we thought that I'll quickly go home with the e-scooter, because it's only 5 minutes anyway, get my vaccination certificate and come back. Then I took off on the e-scooter. I was alone and it was around one or so. And I drove in the middle of the street, there was no car or anything.

I just stood there and went home on the e-scooter. _{I drove past two guys, one of them shouted "horny pussy" and I got really scared and started to cry, because I was alone.}. Then I went home and thought to myself at home so "No, pull yourself together. It's going to be a great party night and you'll definitely make it." Then I shut down for a bit, chilled, got my vaccination thing and went. Then I got back on the e-scooter and headed back to the club. And before you get there on the premises is like such a narrow dark corridor and there I ran in alone and there were the two guys I've already passed at the beginning and came to meet me. And then one of them spread out his arms and screamed really loud. I flinched because it was a very narrow corridor and there were two guys.

_{Then he always acted with his lighter as if he were lighting me on fire. So he held it up to me and screamed. The other guy didn't do anything. And in the back there was a man who noticed what was going on, but didn't say anything. I was fully afraid, because that was ne threatening situation and then I have to the full loud "Dude fuck off and leave me alone" and then the guy let me go and said "Fuck off yourself you fucking cunt".}

Yes, that was my party night.

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"How We Experience Nightlife" writes stories, impressions, and experiences of people with diverse and intersectional perspectives from nightlife. Nightlife or event life can be characterized by being exuberant, exhilarating, connecting, liberating, and networking. But it can also be exclusionary, discriminatory, and painful. People deal with these experiences differently. They develop (empowering) strategies or have to draw consequences for themselves. Many are convinced that "something like that" does not happen at their own events. But these supposedly individual experiences run structurally through our society and are also anchored in the event context.

People who have to experience (multiple) discrimination share their view of nightlife here in literary contributions and testimonials. These are multi-layered voices that are made visible and audible: Empowering, angry, reporting on violence and the accompanying pain, longing, sad, free, loud and quiet, hard and soft.

9 authors and/or artists are involved in the zine. We asked them what a successful night looks like for them, when they feel safe and strong. But also, how their experiences with sexualized violence or discrimination are.

They are part of Saxony's nightlife - whether as visitors, awareness, security, artists or organizers. During the day and at night, many of them are active against discrimination. Some of them remain anonymous, some of them introduce themselves under their contributions. Thank you for your openness, your courage and your work!

In parts, controversial and complex topics are addressed in the contributions. This is done in a very subjective and sometimes abbreviated manner, but in line with the experience gained. As editors, we see it as our task to let these reports stand uncensored and unfiltered as they are, and we think it is important to give space to controversies and discussions.

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