People from Saxony who have to experience (multiple) discrimination share their view of nightlife here in literary contributions and testimonials.
CN: Security, discrimination: sexism, transphobia; sexual and family violence.
I started working as a security guard at the door of a club five years ago. I wouldn't have come up with the idea on my own - why should I have had the confidence to do it? I jumped in at the deep end, so to speak. I'm still asking myself how much bouncer work has to do with social work and how one manages the balancing act between toughness towards asshole guests and warmth towards guests who want support. For me personally, I found my way back to techno through work and now even dance topless from time to time.
I write from a non-binary/trans*male perspective. I am white and able-bodied. And I'd like to share a little bit of my secrets and impressions of nightlife from a bouncer's perspective.
An acquaintance said a few years ago, "Hey, anyone need a job? I'm going to quit working as a secu." I asked, of course, if you didn't have to know martial arts to do that. - That's the most common question you get when you do door work. I dare to say that especially FLINTA* are asked something like that. In fact, door work is mainly talking, making announcements, clarifying situations, de-escalating situations and making the right decisions, for example, to protect nice and or party guests affected by discrimination and violence.
I started the job then and worked mainly in the one club with always similar people. When you are structurally affected by violence, changing work locations involves more dangers. When I'm in one place, I know the structures and which office and which people are approachable and can support. If I know the procedures and club structure and the people involved, I can work independently and have certainty of action. If I am always working with strangers, there is of course much more to negotiate, which requires energy. In the field of work dominated by cis-endo men, it is not easy to be a FLINTA*. One of the worst experiences with a colleague was the following:
When I came out as non-binary, a colleague at the time objected to my self-chosen name. He didn't like the name because he had a bad relationship with regulars who had the name. A year and a half later I was working and he was drunk at the party. He pressed a conversation on me about his childhood with a violent father and apologized for objecting to my name. He dominated the conversation with his topics and took advantage of the fact that there was just nothing to do and I was "just sitting around" at the door.
Now I would like to tell you what Secu work has to do with empowerment for me and how my own sense of security and self-assertion has changed as a result.
One task as Secu is to greet the guests and see if they identify with the rules of the game in the club. I'm in a powerful position there. I look at the people in line, I talk to them, and I will decide who should not enter the club. When I'm standing there like that and I'm looking at the people in line, every once in a while my gaze meets with that of a, of me, cis-endo-read man. What usually happens is that he lowers his gaze. I don't want to intimidate people, nor do I take advantage of my attributed power at the door! But I must admit that it is empowering when ratios are suspended for a few moments and, to put it briefly, I am the person looking and cis-endo men are the ones being looked at.
Once a guest stood opposite me at the door, or rather he stared into my eyes. In the next breath he told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was perplexed, I had not experienced anything like that at the door until then. As a trans*male person, such comments are doubly discriminatory. First, they do not recognize my gender identity, second, they degrade my socially ascribed gender, third, I am not taken seriously in my job as a bouncer. - Or would one make such a compliment to the clerk in the citizen's office while he is filling out the forms for the new identity card? At first, I didn't react at all. In everyday life, as a "private person," I have different strategies that depend on the day. At the door, I share the responsibility for keeping party guests inside, away from people who approach strangers inappropriately. A colleague checked in with me, and asked for my consent to deny the guest entry. In my opinion, this was the only conceivable consequence and I was glad for the support. It is like so often in awareness: situations can be better assessed and judged if you discuss them with others. It often happens that one is affected by attacks, insults and other violence and not directly involved people reflect and classify the situation, or ask the right questions to those affected to classify.
Depending on your own and the crew's understanding, prevention and assistance regarding violence by guests is one of the main tasks of the Secu. It is a very special experience to be in the powerful position of not letting people who say or do funny things at the door loose on the party guests. In my "private" everyday life, I don't very often have the opportunity to have such a direct consequence for the person committing violence.
It's great to work in a team where we relate to each other, are prepared and help together in dicey situations. If I'm physically attacked on the street, I'm alone and I don't expect it. In that job, we're together.
Once I had just finished my shift, went to the bar for an after-work beer and was grabbed right on the ass. The perpetrator was not communicatively accessible and I actually found the situation somehow crude. On the one hand, such incidents confirm again and again that as a FLINTA* bouncer - unless you are 1.90 m tall and very muscular - you are as good as invisible. And on the other hand I was "happy" that it caught me because I acted. Who knows if another affected person would have had the strength or the desire to complain. But the fact that it hit me and it felt like crap is also a fact. So I leaned over to the bar staff and asked to have a colleague wink at me. We escorted the violent person outside and I finally enjoyed my beer.
Over time, I have even begun to go now and then alone in this club. There are very few FLINTA* who go alone e.g. to a club and the reasons are numerous and big! It is important for me to know if and where there is help if something is wrong. Meanwhile I prefer to go to other clubs. But I know how Secu-work works and what they and the Awareness are and should be responsive to and I demand that! But I will continue to work for doors that are diverse, communicative and responsive!
About me: Doorman
My favorite artist: Jennifer Cardini
I never go to the club without: greased sandwiches & cap
A successful night for me is: when there was niceN & close contact with the guests
